Skip to main content

Color-tastic

Ahh...summer.  I shall not miss thee.  Not only did I hate your bugs and mowing (R.I.P. finger-tip), but the lack of structure just about killed me.  I'm amazed my children are still alive, because I've taken to hiding from them--rocking back and forth in the fetal position.  Take this story as a typical, good old-fashioned summer experience.

Now I enjoy art as much as anyone, but my least favorite mode is markers.  I have a big box of them--a torturous blend of normal and "wonder" markers.  The wonder being you have to wait several minutes for the $#&@! ink to show--thus making my kids go bat crap crazy and viciously hurling them in random directions.  I have new artwork on my walls, on furniture, and frankly, anywhere but paper (unless of course, it's some official government document).  Livi has taken to coloring herself, because of unknown toddler reasons.  She decorated all up her arms, her pants, and completely covered her hands.  Lovely.  Most parents are probably nodding their heads, bobble-style, basically saying, "Yeah, so what?"  Well, let's enter in another fun form of recreation.  Self-exploration.  Tweeter-tango.  Tee-tee tickle.  This annoying, especially when your daughter decides that church, the grocery store, whatever is a fun place to do this.  But...let's merge these two "fun" activities and see what we have.  After painting her hands, Livi decided to explore the contents of her panties.  After all, she had to make sure everything was still there.  So, imagine my surprise when I found a masterpiece of Technicolor Tee-tee.  A veritable Sistine Chapel on her nether-regions.  You truly haven't lived until you've had to scour another person's yoo-hoo.  JOY.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's a gas

It's been quite a while since I have posted anything.  I know you've been waiting, fingernails curled and gripping the edge of your seat for me to post something highly inappropriate and gross.  Today, you are vindicated.  You shall not leave unsatisfied. As most of you know...after about 10 years I have finally rejoined the workplace.  I am working at the Chambers Library at UCO.  It was truly bizarre to be working again, since the last job I held was before I had kids.  Yes.  That matters.  You see, my body has changed a lot in those years--especially in the areas of going to the bathroom.  I didn't realize that a whole, new adventure awaited me.  You see, since everything is loose down in Dixie from having kids, I don't have quite the control that I used to.  Simple things such needing to pee have now become dire.  You don't have any waiting time.  Your body says, "You need to pee.  Now.  NOW SUCKER!!!" ...

Panties and Heart Failure

  Yes, I know it's been a while since I've blogged, but I have tried to reserve blogging to when I have something mildly interesting to tell.  So here are two tales from my weird life: Okay, many of you know that my house is haunted.   Most of you probably believe that I'm on something, or it's just my imagination.  That's fine.  Actually, we rarely get activity.  It's a pretty chill spirit, whoever it is...or was.  But occasionally, it decides to make its presence known, as it did the other day. I was in the bathroom, and I had forgotten the need for a clean pair of undies.  This is a situation that no one wants to find themselves in, so naturally, I hollered for reinforcements from my daughter.  Ethan was at esports, and I wouldn't traumatize the poor boy by making him retrieve a pair of my dainties. Livi had been chatting with me through the door, so she said okay and....I guess she wasn't moving quickly enough for our ghosty.  T...

I'm spilling the tea. It's old but well-brewed

This is kind of long, so buckle up. We're 10 days into January, and it still feels weird.  Kind of like trying to break in a new pair of shoes.  Over the break, I've done little odd jobs here and there--stuff I really didn't have time to mess with, or I just didn't WANT to mess with.  One of those things was working on applications for a grant for Ethan's college.  With the new semester, I have realized that Ethan is half done with his sophomore year.  Only two more years after that....I seriously cannot believe it.  Even though my body cheerfully reminds me of my age every day, I still sometimes think about myself in college or fresh out of it.  Sometimes college seems like a weird dream, or something I watched happen to someone else.  I have frank, open talks to my kids about college (or trade school if they are interested), and both kids are pretty much wanting to attend UCO and (to my surprise), they want to live at home.  I told them not...