Skip to main content

Strep Poo

It's been a tiring day.  Ethan's 8th birthday has found me with Satan's strep throat.  I can only imagine that it is the machinations of the Antichrist, because I've had strep many, many times, and it was never like this.  Somehow, (divine intervention?), I managed to make it to Target, and grab a big cookie cake to drop off at the school.  Thank you Jesus for antibiotics.  Anyhoo....I stayed home from Bible class in order to selfishly keep this bug to myself.  I put in a Veggie Tale in the vain hopes that it might count for something, and settled down to rest.  (The only thing I believe they gleaned from it was that Bob the Tomato has a phobia of monkeys.)
A little thought niggled in the back of my mind....oh yes....I can't rest.  There are things to do, namely bathing Livi.  Luckily, Livi is always game for a bath, and tonight she needed it.  Upon telling her it was bath-time, she dashed into the laundry room and closed the door.  James Bond, she is not.  I opened the door to discover she had pooped herself.  Joyous!  Time to de-poo one child.  Having safely placed one child in the bath, I helped Ethan with his homework, and then trudged down the hall to check on the Poo Princess.  I could hear her voice--ringing with empirical tones--long before I got to the door.

"I am the Queen!  Come over here!"

"Now.  This is what you are to do."

"I demand that you play with me right now!"

These are only a few of the things Her Lady of the Poop was spouting forth.  It was amusing until I thought, "What if she's this bossy to her friends?  What if she is this demanding to the girls at school?"

So, I decided to delve forward and entered the Swamp that was formerly known as My Bathroom.

"Is it time to get out?" she whined.

"No, but I couldn't help overhearing your "friend" is being a little bossy." Hard to tell which one it was.  She was surrounded by multiple princesses and one rogue Strawberry Shortcake. 

"Moooom.  I'm just playing." Insert expert eye-roll.

"I know.  Just, why don't you show your friend how to ask nicely?  Then maybe she'll have an easier time at getting people to want to play with her."

"Okay."

I felt kind of smug as I exited the bathroom.  It was totally worth the steamy, Lion King hairdo I was now sporting.

The little voice rang out: "I demand that you play with me, PLEASE."

Sigh.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's a gas

It's been quite a while since I have posted anything.  I know you've been waiting, fingernails curled and gripping the edge of your seat for me to post something highly inappropriate and gross.  Today, you are vindicated.  You shall not leave unsatisfied. As most of you know...after about 10 years I have finally rejoined the workplace.  I am working at the Chambers Library at UCO.  It was truly bizarre to be working again, since the last job I held was before I had kids.  Yes.  That matters.  You see, my body has changed a lot in those years--especially in the areas of going to the bathroom.  I didn't realize that a whole, new adventure awaited me.  You see, since everything is loose down in Dixie from having kids, I don't have quite the control that I used to.  Simple things such needing to pee have now become dire.  You don't have any waiting time.  Your body says, "You need to pee.  Now.  NOW SUCKER!!!" ...

Panties and Heart Failure

  Yes, I know it's been a while since I've blogged, but I have tried to reserve blogging to when I have something mildly interesting to tell.  So here are two tales from my weird life: Okay, many of you know that my house is haunted.   Most of you probably believe that I'm on something, or it's just my imagination.  That's fine.  Actually, we rarely get activity.  It's a pretty chill spirit, whoever it is...or was.  But occasionally, it decides to make its presence known, as it did the other day. I was in the bathroom, and I had forgotten the need for a clean pair of undies.  This is a situation that no one wants to find themselves in, so naturally, I hollered for reinforcements from my daughter.  Ethan was at esports, and I wouldn't traumatize the poor boy by making him retrieve a pair of my dainties. Livi had been chatting with me through the door, so she said okay and....I guess she wasn't moving quickly enough for our ghosty.  T...

I'm spilling the tea. It's old but well-brewed

This is kind of long, so buckle up. We're 10 days into January, and it still feels weird.  Kind of like trying to break in a new pair of shoes.  Over the break, I've done little odd jobs here and there--stuff I really didn't have time to mess with, or I just didn't WANT to mess with.  One of those things was working on applications for a grant for Ethan's college.  With the new semester, I have realized that Ethan is half done with his sophomore year.  Only two more years after that....I seriously cannot believe it.  Even though my body cheerfully reminds me of my age every day, I still sometimes think about myself in college or fresh out of it.  Sometimes college seems like a weird dream, or something I watched happen to someone else.  I have frank, open talks to my kids about college (or trade school if they are interested), and both kids are pretty much wanting to attend UCO and (to my surprise), they want to live at home.  I told them not...