Okay, so that title is misleading. I've been separated for over 5 years and divorced for 7 months (woot! woot!). I think what I was getting at with the title is, when most of us get married, divorce is that last thing we ever expect. "Not me!" we smugly think, "My marriage is different."
Yes, well--I was one of those. So when I found myself single again, I couldn't believe it. Being single when you're in your 20s isn't bad. Being middle-aged and single with two kids and an airline's worth of baggage is quite another thing.
It's interesting to know the cycles of this new-found singleness. I find that I tend to spin through these frequently:
The Warrior Queen: I suddenly think about how awesome and bad I am. I feel mighty and powerful. I think back to Wimpy in a Bad Marriage Me and can't believe it was the same person. I am Woman Hear Me Roar....or...more like see me watching Netflix with a smirk on my face. I don't need a man. I am perfectly happy being single.
The Cobra: This is piss-offed me. It's when I usually will rant about my ex and how much I can't stand him, how poorly endowed he is, how I wish he'd move to Tibet, etc. etc. This phase usually can be identified with colorful expletives and a sudden urge to work out a lot. I hate men. I hate their hairy butts and snoring. If I have to endure being by a snoring male again, I will likely smother them with a pillow.
Wilting Flower: The victim. Poor me. I long for love and companionship. I feel ugly and unlovable. I listen to KSAD FM and cry to Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love." Much sugar is consumed and self-loathing is the outfit of the day. It's not a pretty sight.
I think because I spin through these cycles as often as I do laundry, it's hard for friends and family to keep up. I'm fine, I'm not. I'm full of power, I'm helpless.
It's all quite annoying.
Yes, well--I was one of those. So when I found myself single again, I couldn't believe it. Being single when you're in your 20s isn't bad. Being middle-aged and single with two kids and an airline's worth of baggage is quite another thing.
It's interesting to know the cycles of this new-found singleness. I find that I tend to spin through these frequently:
The Warrior Queen: I suddenly think about how awesome and bad I am. I feel mighty and powerful. I think back to Wimpy in a Bad Marriage Me and can't believe it was the same person. I am Woman Hear Me Roar....or...more like see me watching Netflix with a smirk on my face. I don't need a man. I am perfectly happy being single.
The Cobra: This is piss-offed me. It's when I usually will rant about my ex and how much I can't stand him, how poorly endowed he is, how I wish he'd move to Tibet, etc. etc. This phase usually can be identified with colorful expletives and a sudden urge to work out a lot. I hate men. I hate their hairy butts and snoring. If I have to endure being by a snoring male again, I will likely smother them with a pillow.
Wilting Flower: The victim. Poor me. I long for love and companionship. I feel ugly and unlovable. I listen to KSAD FM and cry to Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love." Much sugar is consumed and self-loathing is the outfit of the day. It's not a pretty sight.
I think because I spin through these cycles as often as I do laundry, it's hard for friends and family to keep up. I'm fine, I'm not. I'm full of power, I'm helpless.
It's all quite annoying.
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